The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Vodka?
Forever.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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