It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
