Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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