I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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