no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
