I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize