Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
