When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
