well you can't waste a boner
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
