you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize