I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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