the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
