eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
