I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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