I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
