Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
