I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
