If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
