Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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