i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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