Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
