That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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