note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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