I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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