I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
