If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
