Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
