He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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