i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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