oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
