I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize