I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
