If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
this is an emotional support booty call
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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