i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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