I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
