i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
