She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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