dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
