how can u be prego again
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
