wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
