drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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