Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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