anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
