i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
