I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
