just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
