Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
