all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you never un-have a 4some
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
