You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
