Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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