he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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