I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
