that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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