your parents love me but you hate me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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