I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
