i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
