I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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