Who wears a wallet chain?!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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