I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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