I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
