Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
