yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
