I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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