Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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