I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
