Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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