Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
