Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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