Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
