Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
